One Chance Lightning cringes as Snow barrels through the door, sweeping Serah up into his arms and pressing their faces close in a kiss. To see her baby sister act like that with her only feet away, it makes her want to pull her hair out. It's not that she isn't happy for her, but all the lovey-dovey romance the two go through on a daily basis isn't helping. While they're caught up in themselves she leaves the couch and slips out the back door unnoticed.
Great story! You're writing technique is absolutley perfect. I thought that it was well thought out and again, it was perfectly done. Although I need to be honest here... In my opinion I thought that the sory was just the slightest bit off. Example; Hope is older yet Fang and Vanille are not in the crystal pillar? I just thought that you could have really expressed that more. Many people are attracted to the little things. For me, I put more depth into my writing by including music or even my own characters to enrich it. But other than that it was absolutley perfect. The way Hope interacted with lightning was spot on.
Again great story and I would looooovvvvveeee to see more!
Have a great day!